A police officer is walking through town on his daily beat when he sees... .. a nun drinking a bottle of rum on the side of the road. ""Sister, what are you doing? Should you not be at the convent?"" he asks. ""I'll be going hic back soon officer. I'm trying to hic cure the Mother Superior's hic constipation"" she slurs. Getting annoyed, the police office says, ""Sister, look at the state of yourself, how do you expect to help the Mother Superior when you're so drunk?"" The nun looks at the offi…

The job interview. Seamus was good at a lot of things, except working. Fed up with her freeloading son, Seamus' mom said that he had to get a job, and arranged an interview for him at the city hall in Dublin. So, on his way to the interview, Seamus decided to stop to have a pint or two for courage. Before he knew it, hours had passed and he had but fifteen minutes to get from the pub to downtown Dublin. He drove like a banshee and made it to the city hall with a minute to spare, but, as he circl…

A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.

Late Night A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, ""Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."" The first guy replies, ""I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."" The guy agrees to try th…