My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't letter. They said only mails work here.

My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards.

I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..

It's like my Uncle said, no body, no crime Coworker: I only asked how your weekend was...