A small geographical difference An elderly man walks in to the famous restaurant Lucas Carton in Paris with his girlfriend. He orders a bottle of Rothschild Mouton 1928. The waiter returns with a full bottle of wine and fill up a small amount in a glass for tasting. The man barely smells the wine before putting the glass down and stating: ""This is not a 1928 Mouton!"

A german teenager plans a trip to Paris. One day, before the trip, he visits his grandfather, where he mentions his plan. ""Ach, Paris!"" - he replies - ""I've been there once! Wonderful city!"" ""Really? Can you tell me some good places to visit?"" ""Sure I can! There is a small street, more like an alley, right next to the Eiffel Tower. There is this amazing restaurant! The best french dishes are served there. And the best part: it's free for germans!"" ""I never thought that! I must check it …

When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.

Friend: Don't come on too strong is my dating tip. [At the restaurant] Her: Can you pass the salt, please? Me: Sorry, it's too heavy.