Did you here that Michael Jackson died of food poisening? Apparently he ate an 11 year old weiner.

So, I understand Michael Jackson died from food poisoning... ...he choked on a 9-year old weiner.

How do you get a hippie off your door step? Pay for the pizza and close the door.

Who the hell names food anyway? I recently started a new job and soon realized that some crazy fool was giving names to all of the food in the break room refrigerator. Today I had a tuna sandwich named 'Bob'.