Two sisters were still virgins at the age of eighty-six. Finally in frustration one of them, Ethel, announced: "I'm damned if I'm going to die a virgin. So tonight I'm going out on the town and I'm not coming home until I've been laid!" Shocked by the outburst, her sister, Betty, warned: "Well, don't be too late. There are some strange people in town on a Saturday night." All evening Betty waited anxiously to hear the key in the door. At last – at half past one in the morning – Ethel returned and headed straight to the bathroom. A concerned Betty called through the door: "Are you okay, Ethel?" There was no answer, so Betty opened the door and saw Ethel sitting there with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself. "What is it, Ethel?" cried Betty. "What's wrong?" Ethel said: "Betty, it was ten inches long when it went in and five when it came out. I tell you, when I find the other half, you're gonna have the time of your life!"