Backpacking in Australia, a young Englishman found himself with time to kill in a remote outback town before the next leg of his journey. With over two hours until his bus was due, he decided to call into the town's only hotel for a beer and something to eat. As he walked in, every head at the bar turned to stare out the stranger. The silence was deafening until one of the regulars stood up and announced: "I hope you're not a pervert, because perverts aren't welcome in this town." "No," said the young man, "I assure you I'm not. I'm just waiting for my bus." He ordered a beer and a burger, and after his meal needed to use the toilet, particularly with the prospect of a seven-hour bus ride ahead. So he asked the bartender where the toilet was. "The dunny's out the back," growled the bartender, "and don't make a mess!" On venturing outside, the young man was horrified to see that the toilets were nothing more than two pits piled high with festering poop. One pile was six feet high, the other four feet high. Bracing himself, he climbed to the top of the smaller pile and did his business. As he climbed down, the guy from the bar appeared and grabbed him around the throat. "I knew you were a pervert!" he snarled. "You were in the ladies!" What's the difference between Australians and pigs? Pigs don't turn into Australians after ten pints of beer.