When a trick went wrong, an amateur magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two children into armchairs. He tried everything he knew to reverse the trick but when all attempts failed, he took them to hospital. He paced up and down in casualty for hours until finally a junior doctor came out to see him. "My wife is a couch and my two children are armchairs," said the magician. "I need to know how they're doing." The doctor glanced at his notes and said: "They're comfortable." I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like. Pippa Evans