Doctor: “I have some good news and some bad news, which shall I tell first?” Patient: “Uhhh, well, give me the bad news first.” Doctor: “You only have one week left to live.” Patient: “Oh no! What good news can you possibly tell me now?” Doctor: “Well, you know that really hot-looking nurse who just came in here? I'm taking her out to dinner tonight, and who knows where the night will end!”
accidentally called out my dentist's name during my colonoscopy
Twitter is like a soap opera for some of you. I'd like to be the one who sneaks into the hospital and unplugs your life support.
[first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] "Dr that's the model skeleton"
14yo: My voice keeps randomly changing DOCTOR: That's normal at your age 14yo: [Batman voice] Thank you doctor DOCTOR: That's not normal
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