Dude on Amtrak I sized up as being a lawyer just used "litigation" during a phone call. Feeling powerful right now.

Friend: I'm about to appear in court. Me: Best of luck! Kill it!! Friend:...not exactly the best phrase to use in a medical negligence case.

[In Court] Does the Defense have any last words? *defense rises* DE-FENSE *Judge holds up picket fence* DE-FENSE *Jury starts The Wave*

COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer