As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"

"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.

I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day

Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.