"Pika pika pika!" [translated] "I'm sorry, children. Your father was stolen by a Pokemon trainer who has to beat a child named Gary."

Hey General Motors, what about an electronic drum set on the steering wheel? You're welcome.

Looking for a nice, wholesome girl I can bring home to mom. She only dates nice, wholesome girls

As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"