Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal.

Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby.

Sorry I stuck a cheese puff in your baby's mouth when you couldn't find a pacifier.

A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?"