The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer per year. That's 41 miles per gallon...which is not bad.

I bet in hell you have to sleep in a hot bedroom with a pillow that never has a cool side.

Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.

If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?