The real reason Darth Vader cut off Luke's hand was because he touched the thermostat

Me: Whats the best thing on the menu? Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

i hate it when Darth Vader puts eggs in my mailbox and then rides away on a kids tricycle

I tweeted about Darth Vader wearing Depends earlier. Since then, two Vaders and have "followed" me. I'm getting choked tonite. Help.