God will save me! A priest was on a cruise ship when the ship began to sink quite suddenly. Being a man who puts others before himself, he finds the smallest piece of driftwood that would support his weight, grabs hold of it and floats in the middle of the ocean. 15 minutes go by and along comes a rubber dinghy, almost full and the ship's captain on-board. The captain offered to take the missionary on but he refused, saying ""My dear child, please find someone else to fill my spot; the good Lord will save me."", so the captain goes off to find another person. 5 more minutes go by and a sea rescue helicopter hovers above the priest, with a paramedic at the bottom of the ladder, his hand outstretched. Once again, the missionary refuses, shouting ""Please leave me here, you have only one space! Rescue someone different, I put my trust in God to look after me!"", so the helicopter flies away to rescue someone else. After another 10 minutes, a speedboat comes by with some of the survivors inside, but same again the missionary tells them to take on other people instead and that he has faith in the Almighty to keep him safe. The priest starts getting weary and the cold of the ocean saps his strength and eventually he just can't hold onto the driftwood any longer so he let's go and drowns. At the pearly gates, he's surprised to be welcomed by not Saint Peter, but God himself. Annoyed that he is standing here he starts shouting at God, how his faith seemed misplaced and God cut in mid sentence saying ""Well what on earth did you expect *me* to do?!? I sent a dinghy, a helicopter, a speedboat...""