Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette walk into a bar. They're all underage, and hence, they have fake ID's. The bartender see them and knows they are underage, so he call the cops. The redhead informs the girls that the bartender has called the cops and they have to leave. They run out the back door and see a barn. Inside, the redhead notices 3 potato sacks on the floor. She tells the girls to each hide in a potato sack. The police then arrive in the bar, and the bartender takes them out back to …

A Panda is sitting in a bar... A Panda is sitting in a bar enjoying his afternoon. The bartender walks up and asks him what he would like to drink. ""No drink, but I'll take a BLT."" the panda says. The bartender fixes up a nice sandwich for the panda, working especially hard at it since its not every day a panda is at his bar. He serves it to the panda, who politely eats the whole thing. Just as the bartender is waiting for a reaction on the sandwich, the panda pulls out 2 pistols from his pand…

Why the chicken cross the road? It all started when his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room murdered his wife and three children and somehow managed to evade police.. Months after this incident,…