Donald Trump and Mike Pence are at a banquet at the white house. A guest notices they are giggling with each other so he gets curious and goes to speak with them. ""What is so funny over here?"" Trump replies: "" We're planning WWIII"" ""WOW, and what exactly are your plans?"" Trump replies: "" We're going to kill 14 million muslims and a dentist"" ""Huh, why are you killing a dentist?"" Pence taps Trump on the back: ""See, I told you no one would ask about the muslims""
accidentally called out my dentist's name during my colonoscopy
Twitter is like a soap opera for some of you. I'd like to be the one who sneaks into the hospital and unplugs your life support.
[first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] "Dr that's the model skeleton"
14yo: My voice keeps randomly changing DOCTOR: That's normal at your age 14yo: [Batman voice] Thank you doctor DOCTOR: That's not normal
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