A blonde walks into a bar... and asks the bartender to lineup 7 shots. He does, and then the blonde takes the 1st shot and dumps it on the floor. Then the blonde picks up the last shot, and does the same. The bartender, peeved that he has to mop it up, asks indignantly, ""What the hell?! Why did you do that?"" The blonde replies, ""Well, the first one always tastes like shit, and the last one always makes me sick!""
The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer per year. That's 41 miles per gallon...which is not bad.
I bet in hell you have to sleep in a hot bedroom with a pillow that never has a cool side.
Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.
If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?
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