As a young child my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be. It turns out that the police call this identity theft.

A little boy... Nfw'ish So a little boy ran past a cop screaming bloody murder so the cop grabs him by the arm and settles him down. Holding onto his shoulders he look in the boys tear stained eyes and asks ""son what happened?"" The boy snivels up a snot bubble and answers the cop ""Well officer you see my mom always told me to never look at women more beautiful then her or else i would be turned to stone like medusa"" The cop puzzled asks ""ok but why were you screaming?"" The replies ""well i…

A very distinguished lady was on a plane A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: ""Excuse me Father, could I ask a favour?"" ""Of course my child, What can I do for you?"" ""Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you thi…

There was a little boy named Buttitches His very first day at school the teacher asks him what his name is. ""What's your name?"" ""Buttitches."" ""Haha, very funny, what is your name?"" ""Buttitches."" ""Listen child, tell me your real name or I'm sending you to the principal."" ""Buttitches."" ""Principal's office! Now!"" The boy arrives at the principal's office and asks for the boy's name. ""What's your name?"" ""Buttitches."" ""Oh we have a jokester do we? What's your real name son?"" ""But…