"Sir you can't bring your dog onto the plane" [labradoodle puts on tiny pilot hat] "Omg captain I'm so sorry"

A cheerio walks into his boss's office... And he says to his boss, ""Boss, I want to be more delicious than a plain old Cheerio."" The boss shuffles his papers around a bit, and replies. ""Okay, I tell you what. If you go out and work for a year, I'll upgrade you to a Honey Nut Cheerio."" The Cheerio thinks on it, and quickly agrees. He goes out, works as hard as he can for a year, and comes back to his boss very satisfied with his work. His boss happily upgrades him to a Honey Nut Cheerio, but …

I be havin' a tale about me parrot! Back when I were just a young sea-dog, I found meself sailin' under the iron grip o' Captain Nobeard. A fearsome pirate, was she, known fer cuttin' down anyone who crossed her! Well, being a new pirate, I figured I'd be needin' a parrot fer me shoulder. Picked one out, did I, in the first port where we made berth. Being that the bird were always spinning in circles - a great lookout, thought I - the name I chose fer him was ""A'turnin."" No sooner had I come b…

Like Captain Ahab, I have my own white whale. But I have no one else to blame, I'm the one who married her.