I'm hoping someone puts razor blades in my daughter's Halloween candy this year because those things are ridiculously expensive.

Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

> टीचर- कल क्यों नहीं आया?मिंटू- नहीं बताऊंगा?टीचर चांटा मारकर- जल्दी बता,मिंटू- Valentine Day पे गर्लफ्रेंड के साथ था,टीचर- इतना छोटा होकर भी गर्लफ्