A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father: - Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there? The father, surprised, answers: - Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions. - Onions? - said the boy - Yes, see them and they make you cry, - the father replied. This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said: - Mum, how many kinds of ""willies"" are there? The mother smiles and looks at her daughter and answers: - Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree. - A Christmas tree?"" said the daughter. - Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only.