A father walks up to his son... and says to him, ""Do we have any more dopted?"" The son says, ""What's a dopted?"" ""You are!"" ""Dad, that's not funny."" ""I'm not your dad!"" (Credit to my bartender Casey)
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Looking for a nice, wholesome girl I can bring home to mom. She only dates nice, wholesome girls
Wife: We need to go to the store. We're out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We're out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*
I feel a weird sense of pride when I'm so drunk that autocorrect just gives up.
Old enough to know better, but still too drunk to care.
Joke ID:
01KKTNB33FYS5XH2MR87FBZ7QA