What salad dressing does Macaulay Culkin prefer? Neverland Ranch.

Jared's favorite dressing on his Subway sandwich is Neverland Ranch. I'm sorry.

'Appearances can be deceiving' said my fortune cookie message; then I realized I've cracked open a snail.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.