The Walking Dead is Jesus's favorite show.

In the Phoenix airport & I just heard a guys laptop say "you've got mail". Pretty sure I've landed in 1998.

Remember that someone out there is thinking of you right now, figuring out how to make your death look like an accident.

Me: Go to bed 5-year-old: One more question Me: Fine 5: Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter? Me 5: Me: Get some coffee