our teacher used to make us do 100 lines if we'd been naughty. my nose was wrecked at the end of it

[covered in olive oil, salt, pepper and other herbs and spices] Professor: "That's just not what I meant when I said "come prepared"..."

9: My teacher doesn't wear makeup like you do. I guess she doesn't need it because she's younger. Me: Get out of the car.

A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.