Taking his seat in his chambers the judge faced the opposing lawyers. ""So"" he said ""I have been presented by both of you with a bribe."" Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. ""You attorney Leon gave me $15000. And you attorney Campos gave me $10000."" The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon ... ""Now then I'm returning $5000 and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits.""
Dude on Amtrak I sized up as being a lawyer just used "litigation" during a phone call. Feeling powerful right now.
Friend: I'm about to appear in court. Me: Best of luck! Kill it!! Friend:...not exactly the best phrase to use in a medical negligence case.
[In Court] Does the Defense have any last words? *defense rises* DE-FENSE *Judge holds up picket fence* DE-FENSE *Jury starts The Wave*
COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer
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