One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil... The Devil: Why so glum? Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell. The Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... You a drinking' man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. The Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, beer ...we drink until we throw up and then we drink some more! It doesn't matter because you're already dead! Guy: Gee that sounds great. The Devil: You a smoker? Guy: Yes The Devil: You're going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer - who cares - you're already dead? Guy: Wow! The Devil: I bet you like to gamble. Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do. The Devil: Wednesdays you can gamble all you want...blackjack, roulette, poker, whatever... If you lose your shirt...who cares! Guy: Amazing! The Devil: You into drugs? Guy: You don't mean... The Devil: Thursdays are drug days. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. Who cares... you're dead! Guy: I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!! The Devil: You gay? Guy: No. The Devil: Ooooh - you're gonna hate Fridays....