If Tiger Wood and Princess Diana played a round of golf who would win? Tiger Woods! because he has a better driver!

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods had a better driver!

What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods? One of them has a good driver.

My Dad turns 50 this weekend and I'm speaking, need some 50th birthday jokes/one liners/roast (xpost from /askreddit) Some bullet points about my Dad: * Has a BMW trophy car * Loves golf * Loves Steak * Is a Republican (I'm very progressive/liberal) * Balding (but so am I...) * His shoulder and knee have needed surgery * Worked everyday of his life since he was 15 * Raised 3 kids * Has 5 grandkids * Just got into wine and thinks he is a connoisseur * Makes homemade ice-cream that he always pawns…