I was involved in a car crash last night. As I regained consciousness from last nights car crash. The Doctors were trying to convince me that I'm actually a Swedish guy who has forgotten his identity... But I am having none of it. I wasn't Bjorn yesterday!
Officer: "didn't you know that sleeping in your car on the side of the road is illegal ?" Me: "yes I did officer. But this isn't my car"
Merry Christmas. Did anyone get a car with a giant ribbon on top? Has anyone ever? Do those ribbons even exist?
*shaves 'I Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*
Twitter takes me places I've never been before. Take oncoming traffic for example.
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