our teacher used to make us do 100 lines if we'd been naughty. my nose was wrecked at the end of it

[covered in olive oil, salt, pepper and other herbs and spices] Professor: "That's just not what I meant when I said "come prepared"..."

I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music.

9: My teacher doesn't wear makeup like you do. I guess she doesn't need it because she's younger. Me: Get out of the car.